music makes me | happy

lots of music related happiness and discoveries this week.

i listen to music most on my iphone or in my car.
therefore...i need to download more songs into iphone and also find/burn more CDs
therefore...i need to back up my old laptop and transfer songs into new laptop...and upload all my other backed-up music.

i love taylor swift's fearless album. ridiculously.

played the piano for the first time in awhile...makes me feel good. i need to practice more before i forget how to play again...well...not forget...but become incredulously slow at reading sheet music.

i want sheet music to adele's album.

i miss my 90s music.

(re)discovered CDs that made me smile:
janet jackson | every album (except for 'janet' and 'damita jo' since they are both in my car)
*NSYNC | self-titled
backstreet boys | self-titled
brandy | self-titled
all 4 one | self-titled, and the music speaks
mya | moodring
robyn | robyn is here
grease | movie soundtrack
bbmak | sooner or later

need to find:
michelle branch
monica
aaliyah
new edition
blackstreet
a lot of things...hah.

yay good mood :D

love|and|such

my parents are gross.
in a good way, i promise.

it's kind of hard to find words for their relationship...but whatever those words are...i can only hope to one day find love like that.

i guess to me...they are my definition of real love...not perfect love (is there such thing?)...or "true love" (whatever that means)...but real love.

real love:
a comfortable amount of PDA
by comfortable i mean they obviously kiss and hold hands and such...but not to the point where i want to throw up from all the cutesy-woosty-ness.
silly fighting|arguments
they may have their fights|arguments over petty things (or not petty, sometimes)...but for one reason or another...they get over it in like...30 minutes (or less! really!)...it's quite entertaining to watch them go at it...and most times i join them in their laughter...maybe they're just quick to forgive? yah, that's it.
friendly battles of wit
they act like teenagers at points...like young people in love...they poke fun at each other...but they never hurt each other's feelings...lightheartedness

-----

on another (very related note)...
got to talking about weddings with a very close friend today...and yah...now i can't think of full sentences...haha.

i'd love to find love and get married.

i don't have "my perfect wedding" planned

but i HAVE thought about
- what ring i would like
- what dress i would wear
- the kind of flowers i would use
- location (ish)
- my cake (well only sort of...i've seen some i like...that's all)

i wonder how he (whoever he is) will propose (whenever that is) every time i see a proposal on tv, in a movie, or in person (twice! in NY...one @ times square...the other in front of the most famous bridge in central park...forgot the name...so much for being famous, hah.)

i try not to think about the fact that i'm not necessarily on a track towards marriage

hmm. that's all for now :D

iamnota|gambler

went to red hawk casino with the parentals today.

mostly to try out the buffet. which was pretty good. but i've had better?
but i have to say...first buffet i've been to that served creme puffs that i actually like (and that taste pretty close to mine! haha). so...kudos for that.

my mama gave me twenty bucks to gamble...so i donated it to the slot machine. maybe it was because i didnt know what i was doing...i was betting more than i wanted. oops. all good. cuz she won back what i lost, hah.

maybe when i have some money to spare...i'll try out this gambling business again...maybe.

reminiscing | and | puppy therapy

i was in need of time to clear my mind...and with no beach nearby...the dog park was the next best thing.

playing with puppies does WONDERS for my mentality.

but before that...

i decide to go have lunch at ono's today and as i sat there waiting for my food i saw someone at the counter who looked ridiculously familiar. could it really be my 6th grade teacher, mr. foss? no way.

WAY.
he got his food and sat at the corner opposite me. for some reason i had to think of a game plan. do i go up to him before getting my food? after i finish eating? what if he finishes eating before i do? how do i stop him?

i end up finishing my food first and decide to go up to him. SO AWKWARD at first.
long story short...he recognized me in an instant and took a few seconds to remember my name. we chatted for a good half hour (if not more) about what has happened in the last 10 or so years since we've seen each other and things like that. it was cool.

then off to the dog park.
i loooooove puppies. played with presley...this beautifully coated dog named pearl (i wanted to spell pearl like perl, YUCK)...and a few other gorgeous dogs.
saw a shiba inu! but didn't get to play with it =\
there were HELLA huskies (alliteration, harhar).
all in all lifting my spirits and helping me let go of the anger from the night before.

i forgave him. i can't hold grudges for too long. that's good right?

then spent some time with two friends that ive known for HELLA long. basically since i moved to stockton...okay maybe the year after i moved here. so since we were like 3 or 4 years old. good times.

overall, good day.

it doesn't | FUCKING | help

[vent blog]

"you're eating AGAIN?"
fuck you. really? i mean fuck. im TRYING here and when i fucking slip up once because i want to/need to you go and make me feel like the fattest person on the planet.
GOD!!!
i hate crying because of this. don't you know that it HURTS? that it doesn't FUCKING HELP me TRY to be healthy when you don't even TRY to be fucking supportive?

i wish you would read this...but i don't have the balls to show this to you.
the tears will stop...and i'll forgive you because obviously i love you.

i just wish you could understand...ease up a little...THINK once before you say shiet...be more sensitive...more EMPATHETIC...that's it...cuz i know you can be sensitive...but you need to understand where I come from.

this is one of the reasons why i wish i wasn't home.

[/end vent blog]

i<3 | john legend + estelle

if i didn't love john legend before...you bet your bottom dollar that i do now!
(where is that phrase from anyway? "bet your bottom dollar"? i shall google it later...)

monday was my 2nd time seeing estelle. she's super fun to watch and she's just amazing.

oh...not only was i within 2 feet of john legend...i touched him! haha.
i was trying to shake his hand but someone else's hand was there...so...i said hello to his arm instead, HAHA.

little did we know that he would be walking down the aisle for his entrance and exit. lucky for me and fishy that we HAD aisle seats AND were in the right aisle! w00t.

john legend = sexy.
sigh.[more|pix]

in all | honesty

i don't think i'll be blogging EVERY day.

my life just ain't that interesting, haha.

maybe. sometimes.

i'll try to though...but i'm just trying to be honest with myself.

i'm not breaking my new year's resolution right? i'm...modifiying it. yaaaaah.

lazy | day

didn't do much today.

but that's alright. cuz i'm gonna see john legend and estelle tomorrow!

:D

appreciation | of

nature
took a (somewhat) small walking tour around UCSC today and my goodness it's pretty gorgeous. very very foresty...the redwoods are amazing...except for the fact that apparently they're not as tall as the ones in the redwood grove...so i'm excited for my next visit so i can go see those.
i miss being in san diego because i used to be so close to the beach...it looked beautiful today.
i guess i could always move to santa cruz...

art
went to SFMoMA today.
i love art and i'm beginning to have a few favorites and im getting better at recognizing certain artists.
participation art is super crazy|random|fun
i love the 1000 journals project. wrote in 3 today but i wish i could be a part of it by other means. we'll see...

excited to go back.

i am | happy | (?)

i'm in santa cruz visiting a really great friend of mine from ucsd.

i've missed her and having conversations with her so it was nice to finally be able to visit and catch up.

one thing that stuck throughout our conversations:
she says i'm a happy person.

i don't know if anyone has ever said that about me before...but i am very grateful to her for noticing that.
i am a happy person. a happier person.

just glad that it's noticeable and hopefully contagious :D

i guess i am keeping my promise lola :D

leaving it up to | fate

we'll see what happens.

went and did a little shopping today...came across borders so felicia could look for a bookstand...i wandered in the journal section and found one i really liked but decided not to buy it right at that moment.
why?
because i figured if i was meant to have that journal, i would find it again the next time im at a borders.

got to catch up with my gay today (that's right, i said my gay). and long story short, i'm basically leaving a lot of my life up to fate.

new mantra. it'll be interesting.
let's see if i end up with that journal.

i aint lost | just wandering

today i drove to sf...mostly because my sister needed to be here by today...but also as yet another excuse to explore the city and visit some friends in the area that i haven't seen in awhile. good thing right?

fishy had a meeting near fisherman's wharf so of course i went with her. i attempted to find a library at the elementary school but gave up too quick and decided to walk around instead.

i ended up walking a total of 1.4 miles (to and from ghirardelli square) and noticed that i've done part of the walk before and rediscovered a location i visited only a month ago. looks like im familiarizing myself with the city, which is cool.

i'd totally move here just for the excuse to walk around.

random thoughts:
im still inhaler-dependent. well, quasi. walked up the steep hill(s) towards lombard/hyde only to realize we still had to go over a few blocks to get to lombard because we were on union. nearly died. ok, not really. but i felt like i really didn't have much left to breathe.
i hate getting scared. stupid fcuken shiet on youtube man. RAWR.

me|discoveries

stuff i already know about myself but blogging about because they were really noticeable today...

i really do eat quite fast...
scratch that...i think it depends on the food and how hungry i am.
apparently today i was hella hungry. food wasn't that wonderful though. good, but not great.

it's hard for me to say no.
my sister and i went to get pedicures today and it took alot for me to say no to #3 (which is $5 more than #2, which i got, and totally didn't need the extra services of what was included in #3).
BUT the lady kept asking me if i wanted the wax (included in #3) ONLY because my sister got it (jealous of the lady who helped my sister? maybe...)
THEN she goes and asks me if i want flowers. i told her no. i was being practical. i just wanted to get my nails done because i hate doing it myself, and flowers are unnecessary in the cold weather (who wears opened-toed shoes in the winter? in the winter where its COLD?)
she asked once more about the flowers and i gave in.
but they're really pretty =]

i like buying movies.
my mom wonders why i buy them when i could just rent them from netflix or something. true, but i just like OWNING movies that i like. so that i can watch them whenever i want without having to wait for it to get into my mailbox.
i bought 'eagle eye' and 'pineapple express' today. both 2disc special collection versions. *shrugs*

i miss hula-hooping.
we bought wiifit on sunday and ive been playing with it since (as per my new year's resolution to get healthy). hula-hooping is the greatest. i used to be really good at it when i was younger. maybe as i progress with wii-hula-hooping i can get back to reality-hula-hooping?

i love google and thesaurus.com.
i like knowing things the instant i question myself about something. and when i write i am ALWAYS on thesaurus.com because its...amazing.

i love san francisco.
or something like that. im beginning to spend ALOT of time in the city lately, mostly because my sister goes to sf state, heh. i guess her going to school there gives me the excuse to go there more often...i'll be in SF tomorrow til monday.

i love watching live shows.
i dont know how many i've been to in the last 2ish years, but its ALOT.
i just said yes to watching 'rent' in SD in march and im going to see john legend on monday!
how exciiiiiiting!

random|thoughts

if you succeed at failing, does that still make you a failure?

i love 'the first wives club'

i'm glad 'gossip girl' and 'one tree hill' are back

yay for wii fit

i hate folding laundry and cleaning my room. sometimes.

life|resolutions

because we shouldn't just make resolutions to improve life for the coming year, but for the rest of our lives...

my resolutions...in no particular order other than that which pops into mind first...some are new...some are old...

1. be healthier. by being watchful of what i eat and exercising.
2. be quick to forgive. because life is too short to be angry for too long.
3. read. because i miss reading for fun. and i would like to extend my vocabulary.
4. blog. daily reflection is good for the soul. and i want to remember as much as i can about my life.
5. sharpen my skills. because not having a job sucks right now but if i don't continue to practice those skills i may never find the job i want.
6. be closer with God. by continuing to go to church every sunday and by reading the bible.
7. be smart(er) with money. because i've been way too careless before and i need think about what i actually need versus what i just want.
8. be happy. no regrets. take life as it is. everything happens for a reason. ultimate life mantra.

//i wouldn't mind this particular blog being a fluid one in which i continually update it as i discover other ways to make life a little better.

in|retrospect

01.01.09

for the first time (and maybe the last, atleast out in the cold) i spent new year's in times square.
MADNESS x infinity.
COLDNESS x infinity.

but totally worth the experience. mostly.

list of the day's activities:
central park
pop burger
5th ave.
rockefeller center|top of the rock
times square

thoughts:
mcdonald's is NOT a place to find a girl, seriously.

-------

01.02.09

goodbye new york, until we meet again.

list of the day's activities:
sleeping
flying
eating
uploading pix from the nyc trip

thoughts:
filipino food tasts bomb.com after a week of hot dogs, burgers and pizza.

happy|new|year

three days into the new year i finally make time to start on my 'new year's resolutions'

this is probably one of the first years in which i actually didnt make too much time to write out or even think about what resolutions i would like to make for the new year. this is probably because i spent the new year in nyc (a separate blog will be created for that...eventually).

so...as we waited for our flight to denver, i went to the mart and bought a drink and wanted to look for a magazine to pass the time. although i saw this magazine in newark, i didn't actually buy it until we arrived in denver
[us|news]

50 ways to improve your life in 2009.
that is the title.
and that is the reason for this blog.

so for the next 363 days, i will attempt to blog everyday, even if it is twitter like in its short-and-sweet type of entry.
just so i can honestly start reflecting outloud again, because i do miss it.

happynewyear, happynewme.

//more resolutions to come...