stuck | in a rut

STUCK.
that's what i've been feeling lately.

STANDSTILL. PLATEAU. middle of NOWHERE. DIRECTIONLESS.

but it's not like all of it is negative|emo|pessimistic.
but i'm not saying being stuck is a good thing either (who would?).

weight.
between my heaviest and my lightest, i lost over 25 pounds last year.
now i'm yo-yo-ing in my progress. not in the sense where im 10 pounds heavier|lighter. but it's more like 5 pounds. technically that is normal in weight shift...but i'm trying to lose weight!
i must be...
- not trying hard enough
- eating more than i think i am
gaaah. where's the motivation? i've lost it somewhere...i don't know. sometimes i'm like "yes! i am going to do this" and other days i just want to be a vegetable.
//be positive. find new fun ways to exercise. be patient.

career.
it's SO HARD looking for a job right now. so fucking hard. and i know its partly because of the economy...but still. really?
it's beginning to make me doubt myself. ALOT.
am i smart enough?
does anybody want me?
did i lose it?
i study and review (although probably not as hardcore as i should be)...and still nothing.
//be positive. keep studying. be patient.

social|life.
my social life is in socal. i miss it. but i love home. and i've been hanging out with my sister more. which i love.
i don't like traveling down there so much anymore cuz i'm MAD BROKE.
my dad drives me NUTS. i'm 22 and living at home...but that doesn't mean you treat me like a teenager.
where are you going? who are you going with? what time are you coming home? why so late? again? why?
seriously. do i ask you about everything?
ok it's not just social life. just my life. what are you doing? what did you get in the mail? did you order something? what did you buy?
seriously, just stop.
//be positive. keep living. be patient.

STUCK.
and frustrated.
and having a hard time dealing with it. and admitting it.

but i will get through this. it will pass. i'll get my break. i'll behappy(er).